Sometimes I wonder how I felt during moments like above. Was I concentrating on making the “right” move? Thinking about the reactions my parents would have if I won? And god forbid…if I lost? Was I questioning a testosterone filled room? Or hoping the game would end soon, so I could eat my lunch in peace? All I remember was being nervous. But…about what? About the dusty chess room making me sick, or the fact my rating could go down three points by losing to, now, a grandmaster?
They tell me there is still time left. But, I just wish I would have known what I know now soon. Just a little bit sooner.